I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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