ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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