New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
