Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
