I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
