This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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