dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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