Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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