I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
