he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
