never play flip cup with pint glasses
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
