yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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