i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
