Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
They have beer where we have blood.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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