On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
