I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
