what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
