I got chris browned last night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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