i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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