The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
