i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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