You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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