he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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