very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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