There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
porn star boner night. come get it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
