She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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