i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
