I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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