Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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