Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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