If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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