I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
