so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
