i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
