I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
