Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love you.
Bad choice
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
