I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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