i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
