do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
