just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
