Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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