He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
