kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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