So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
