ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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