Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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