Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
