Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
