official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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