So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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