So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
